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“I used it as healing for myself that was overdue for many years - maybe my whole life, to be honest.” It’s more about me being able to receive it because of how I feel about myself, which is a lot better these days. I’m just a different person these days where I really try to be present. People would pay me compliments even back in the Pony days someone would say to me, “oh, this is such a great album,” and I’d say, “thank you,” but I would never actually feel anything in that interaction. I also just got to a place as a person - even outside of being a musician - where I could finally feel deserving of kindness to myself and kindness from others and support for myself and being proud of myself, which is something I just never grew up feeling. Obviously, putting so much into it made me really proud of the end result. And then there was the process of making the album. I used it as healing for myself that was overdue for many years - maybe my whole life, to be honest. It was a combination of making something so personal at a time where I had gotten to such a low place that it became a sort of catharsis. Now that I got rid of all of that negativity, sort of, I feel like that makes it easier to navigate, because the things that I think are important in life are just being authentic to me, and just really striving to be gentle with myself and validate myself in the fact that I am who I am. I was never very kind to myself, and I was really hard on myself, and I had people in my life who were really hard on me and put a lot of pressure on me and didn’t treat me that great. I intentionally forced myself to be very, very personal on this album. It’s something I had to learn, especially over the last year, and especially making this album. For me, I guess it’s about doing the opposite, where I’ve got less to prove to myself, and I feel more comfortable with being my own cheerleader, and being more encouraging of myself and more supportive of myself, which are things I think were really missing before the days of the pandemic. I think I’m just naturally someone that never used to feel comfortable and safe being vulnerable just because of my own traumas and insecurities and history. Like you said, I think some people deal with fame by closing off more and becoming more private and making their world even smaller. What enabled you to feel comfortable sharing those aspects of yourself? “You have nothing to hide if you’re not hiding anything.”Īs you’ve ascended to new heights of fame, you’re revealing more about yourself and about your personal life in interviews and in your music than ever before, which is the opposite of the trajectory that many musicians take. It’s something that a lot of people don’t put much effort into anymore, but I think you have to think about the entire experience of listening to music, which is more than just pressing “play” on your phone.
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I just think about little things like that. It’s funny, I’ve seen people saying that going from “Any Turn” to “City of Gold” is jarring, but that was kind of the intention. Sometimes there’s a really sharp turn to throw people off: going from a really fast-paced song to a super stripped-down song. With Bronco, the tracklisting was important because I wanted it to feel like a cohesive album and I wanted people to go on the journey of what the different songs were saying, and the way they felt.
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You have to listen to some of my favorite classic albums in order to get the full experience because it’s how they’re written and how they’re supposed to be presented. I’m a big fan of classic albums, and the way that they used to be made and the way that you would listen to an album top to bottom in order. How did you ultimately decide the order of the tracklist?
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You released Bronco in different groupings of songs that you’ve referred to as “chapters.” But in each individual chapter, the order of songs is different than they are in the final album. Maybe there’s a little bit of play on words or some wit to them, hopefully.